feelings

i went back to nus today, for a game of hball and at the same visit my fella peers from my 2nd home. felt a number of different feelings todae.

1. feeling of brother and affliation. felt it when i first saw the handball gers, yanyan, yvon and the rest. dunno hw to describe, but seeminngly back to somewhere im comfortable with, you hanball, the courts, the src ground.. even the air smell so familiar.

2. feeling of 6-sixers and eguana spirit. met up wif hon, shyangzheng, xinyi, becky, mavis, ruiyi, the rest of the golden gers... felt like im a young aspiring young eguana all over again. jus felt realli close hearted and tender at the sight of them. these are the pple that left footprints onto me. their once amazing ihg feats inspired me till date n i think will be a lasting memory.

3. feeling of sportsmanship and comaradarie. wearing the kr blue asic ihg jerseys bring back the pride for me again, its the kr blue, its the kr hball blue that im wearing on that made me proud to be a handballer once again. to see all alumni and freshies wearing the kr blue jus send me the adrenaline.. its realli like the sea of 'blues' gathering from small streams and forming to a bigger lake, river, sea and then ocean.. sweet.. power of numbers.

4. feeling of loss and incapabilities. my left knee. undoubtly im nt the same me as last time. im still very passionate abt the same when i first started. but, this is the kind of physical constraint that is very much holding me back.. i so very much want to be part of the team again, but i noe i need to decide to go thru the surgury and fight back to fighting fit level for abt 8mths or so.

5. feeling of change in hall dynamics, wat defines it. its the people. wat made the people to change, its the hall's directions. a loop. people come n go, we live with it. legends continue to be an inspirational for all of us. somewhere, our predecessor always seems to be far more superior than us. like the prev hball team, the fella eblkers, the ex jcrc, blk commers, ex hall manager, old kr premises. is it realli the case? or isst people never embrace the changes for nw, kept choosing to remember the old sweet times, but forgt the old tough times.

6. feeling for an old lover. a total mixture of mixed feelings. a part of me cannt accept the fact that some guy would be waiting for his chance pounce on her, but a part of me tells me its time to be ignorant. now, i think it has mutate to an 'older bro shielding sis' feeling, i would jus wanna protect her from evil doers, dats all. no attachment kind.

7. feeling of brotherhood. met up with the marists bro at chomp chomp. no matter hw long we havent met each other, the connections are always there, marists bro always think in the same freq and these are the pple that grew up together with me. simply cant imagine life without them.

looking at my 0304 eblk blk foto brings me great memories again, time where i flourished at hball, get accquainted to blk, made the best eguana friends, stepped up for leadership post and become a better lover.

hall has indeed given me alot, but at the same time take away a fair portion. i see loads of my buddies left this place for various reasons, but i will stay becoz become i just feel for this place, a place where i feel every part of it as mine. i see my loss as a worthy gain.

lets end our nus life with a legendary history here.

*